Chuck Norris Roundhouse Jokes

At Roundhouse Labs, we honor the legend who made the roundhouse kick famous: Chuck Norris.

His kicks broke physics, and rewrote history. 

Below is our curated collection of the greatest Chuck Norris jokes of all time.

1. Chuck Norris doesn’t blink; the world blinks for him.

2. Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.

3. Chuck Norris’s heartbeat powers the electric grid.

4. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a ladder; gravity lifts him.

5. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

6. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; he decides what time it is.

7. Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop — on the moon.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t get cold; winter surrenders.

9. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

10. Chuck Norris’s shadow moves faster than light.

11. Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik’s Cube with one glance.

12. Chuck Norris doesn’t need GPS; destinations come to him.

13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse; now we have giraffes.

14. Chuck Norris can whistle in five languages.

15. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; air hides in his lungs.

16. Chuck Norris can parallel park a train.

17. Chuck Norris’s laugh is the sound of victory.

18. Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn; the grass hides in fear.

19. Chuck Norris can divide by zero and still get an answer.

20. Chuck Norris doesn’t age; time just gives up.

21. Chuck Norris can taste colors.

22. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.

23. Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, but he’s never cried.

24. Chuck Norris can outstare a black hole.

25. Chuck Norris’s beard has its own gravitational pull.

26. Chuck Norris can smell rain before the clouds do.

27. Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

28. Chuck Norris doesn’t dream; reality adjusts overnight.

29. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

30. Chuck Norris’s glare can melt steel.

31. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

32. Chuck Norris doesn’t need sunscreen; the sun protects itself.

33. Chuck Norris can build a skyscraper with one hand tied behind his back.

34. Chuck Norris’s footsteps are the real cause of thunder.

35. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a password; systems unlock for him.

36. Chuck Norris counted to infinity — twice.

37. Chuck Norris’s shadow once won a fight.

38. Chuck Norris doesn’t sweat; he intimidates heat.

39. Chuck Norris can outrun his own reflection.

40. Chuck Norris doesn’t need keys; locks apologize.

41. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

42. Chuck Norris’s voice can shatter diamonds.

43. Chuck Norris can charge his phone by glaring at it.

44. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a mirror; reflections come to him.

45. Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop — on the moon.

46. Chuck Norris’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd — no one fools him.

47. Chuck Norris can see through walls — and time.

48. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups; he pushes the Earth down.

49. Chuck Norris’s handshake generates earthquakes.

50. Chuck Norris’s sneeze created the Big Bang.

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